On any given day in the past you would have heard me say “Let’s go out.” I would follow that up with either a clear suggestion of what I might like to do or a vague direction we could go. Either way, it definitely involved spending money I didn’t have and eating and drinking more than is healthy. Sometimes the feeling to “go out” is so strong that it feels like I will freak out if I don’t. What is it about “out” that’s so appealing? Why do I always feel like I need to “go”? And when did I get like this? Don’t most people only go out on the weekends?
After giving this topic a lot of thought over the last year I have to say that I’m still not sure, but here is what I think. When I was working in the music field there was a lot of after work drinking and fun which raised what I used to consider a normal amount of going out. Then I had a job that made me feel like I was going to freak out so I went out after to “relax”. Now that I’m used to going out a lot, when I stay in it feels like a punishment. Just like when I was a kid and got grounded. And advertisements are constantly encouraging us to go out to; celebrate, unwind, catch up etc. Followed by the message “You deserve it!”
The problem is, at some point I stopped enjoying it. I kept going out seeking the same returns, but I failed to notice that I wasn’t the same person anymore. I don’t have the same intense interactions during the day that I once did, and I have different goals. This has all lead me to examine the opportunity costs of my old habits. Going out costs a lot of money, obviously, but it also costs a lot of time. Go there, be there, get home, be tipsy and unproductive and it just goes on like that in a vicious circle.
I decided to figure out what I still liked about going out, and I realized it was the lack of electronics. No television or computers and both of us stay off our phones at a public dinner table. Also, I feel insecure about my cooking and I lack a range of recipes that I’m confident in which makes dinner stressful for me. There are solutions to these problems, and that’s something I feel great about. When we walk and go to parks we get the chance for uninterrupted chit chat. I am going to keep cooking so I will get better and in the meantime I’m going to have my husband help select recipes that I find online so we can both be invested in the outcome.
I am really excited to release old habits and make room for new things that fit who I am now. I’ve been working on a list of alternative activities to going out to eat and drink and here are a few things so far:
- Learn French with Duolingo
- Start running
- Walks around our beautiful new neighborhood
- Sit on the roof deck and read or talk
- Movies at home
- Read – I am really enjoying my local library!
I’ve just started filling my time with new activities, so I’ll keep you posted on any additional thrifty thrills I find.
Do your thrifty best!
Lisa
The Life Lisa 